The Raven People

I was doing research on Creation Myths for my Native American Literature class, and found this interesting story about the Mewuk Indians and their connection with ravens. I want to share it with all of you:

Kah'-kah-loo: the Ravens
Me'-wuk: the People

HOW KAH'-KAH-LOO THE RAVENS BECAME PEOPLE:

WHEN water covered the world only the top of the highest mountain rose above it. The people had climbed up on this mountain, but could find no food and were starving. They wanted to go off and get something to eat. When the water went down all the ground was soft mud. After a while the people rolled rocks down to see if the mud were hard enough to hold them. When the rocks stayed on top, the people went down to search for food.
But the mud was not hard enough to hold them and they sank out of sight, leaving deep holes where they had gone down. Then Kah'-kah-loo the Ravens came and stood at the holes, one at each hole where a man had gone down. After a while, when the ground hardened, the Ravens turned into people. That is the reason the Mewuk are so dark.

The myth is short but beautiful. It's about death and rebirth; how we are all connected to nature. The story makes me think about my own creation story, and how I would write it. If people really look within themselves their is a birth/creation story that needs to be told.

My Creation Myth:

I swam in deep salty waters for nine months, searching for the light within the darkness of the womb's cave walls. My mother's cries stirred the waters, creating waves. I tried to remain afloat. "If you keep crying child, the baby will be born full of sorrow," my Grandmother's voice said. Her voice was a thin whisper in my ears. In the darkness I couldn't see my grandmother' face, her withering hands, freckled skin stretched tightly across her bones. The cancer soon took her voice away. My mother never ceased crying, I was nourished by her tears, I was drowning from her grief.

When a ray of light entered the womb, I fought it, my tiny body struggling to stay in the waters I was created from. I was eventually forced into the world of light, crying, purging the salty waters. "Its a girl, with a great set of lungs." said the man in white. After I was washed and dressed, I was placed in my mother's arms. "She's beautiful,' my mother whispered. "She looks like her father." She fell peacefully asleep, and I was taken away.

For some reason it feels incomplete to me. I can't seem to get the last part right.

(Mewuk Myth edited by Hart Merriam, from the 1910 book The Dawn of the World.)