Oceans of me

My mind is like an ocean, waves crash along the shore.

The tides never become still, they continue to rip the sands of

my conscious.

Sticky seaweed covers the rocks, my thoughts that stand in the way

of the waves that want to flow; be absorbed by the sand; a sponge that

hold the saltiness in, until it finally burst.

My feelings are lost beneath the rough currents of my mind.

I want to break free, to swim

down

past the school of fish, nipping at my toes, the sharks silver skin

that brushes against the pit of my stomach.

I wonder through the forest of pink twisted coral reefs.

Searching, forever searching for a hidden abyss

Only there I can find peace, stillness

No longer latching onto "What ifs and Could haves."

Just allowing my mind's salt to sooth my worries instead of

drying me out.

The Maddess Behind Art

Painters, musicians and writers are always seen by the public as "eccentric, deep, and my favorite 60's term "heavy." The media seems to link art to insanity and trauma. Vincent Van Gogh cut off one of his ears and gave it to a prostitute, author Virgina Woolf (The Lighthouse) put stones in her dress pockets and drowned herself in a lake. Musician Fiona Apple took the pain that came from being raped at twelve years old and used it to create her album "Tidal." I can't post the video because I there's some error, but click the underlined senetence at the bottom or view my video bar to see one of Apple's songs: First video blog, last image.

This makes me think about my own sanity in relation to my own writing. I have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), my life revolves around dealing with intrusive thoughts and rituals. I wonder if I would be able to compose poems or stories if I didn't have this disorder. Artists see the world differently than most people; we create the bridge between reality and fantasy. Ordinary images, words, and soundings can seem surreal, through the eyes of an artist, which connects us to different aspects of the world and its creatures.

Unfortunately, by being an artist you sometimes isolate others, who are not in your circle. You are only concerned with your audience, but also creating you work to express thoughts, emotions, and fight inner demons.

(Image: Virginia Woolf and painting by Van Gogh: Wheatfield of crows)

Fiona Apple - Sleep To Dream (Live

Websites to check out with info about mental illness: www.ocfoundation.org/ ]
and www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/

The Raven People

I was doing research on Creation Myths for my Native American Literature class, and found this interesting story about the Mewuk Indians and their connection with ravens. I want to share it with all of you:

Kah'-kah-loo: the Ravens
Me'-wuk: the People

HOW KAH'-KAH-LOO THE RAVENS BECAME PEOPLE:

WHEN water covered the world only the top of the highest mountain rose above it. The people had climbed up on this mountain, but could find no food and were starving. They wanted to go off and get something to eat. When the water went down all the ground was soft mud. After a while the people rolled rocks down to see if the mud were hard enough to hold them. When the rocks stayed on top, the people went down to search for food.
But the mud was not hard enough to hold them and they sank out of sight, leaving deep holes where they had gone down. Then Kah'-kah-loo the Ravens came and stood at the holes, one at each hole where a man had gone down. After a while, when the ground hardened, the Ravens turned into people. That is the reason the Mewuk are so dark.

The myth is short but beautiful. It's about death and rebirth; how we are all connected to nature. The story makes me think about my own creation story, and how I would write it. If people really look within themselves their is a birth/creation story that needs to be told.

My Creation Myth:

I swam in deep salty waters for nine months, searching for the light within the darkness of the womb's cave walls. My mother's cries stirred the waters, creating waves. I tried to remain afloat. "If you keep crying child, the baby will be born full of sorrow," my Grandmother's voice said. Her voice was a thin whisper in my ears. In the darkness I couldn't see my grandmother' face, her withering hands, freckled skin stretched tightly across her bones. The cancer soon took her voice away. My mother never ceased crying, I was nourished by her tears, I was drowning from her grief.

When a ray of light entered the womb, I fought it, my tiny body struggling to stay in the waters I was created from. I was eventually forced into the world of light, crying, purging the salty waters. "Its a girl, with a great set of lungs." said the man in white. After I was washed and dressed, I was placed in my mother's arms. "She's beautiful,' my mother whispered. "She looks like her father." She fell peacefully asleep, and I was taken away.

For some reason it feels incomplete to me. I can't seem to get the last part right.

(Mewuk Myth edited by Hart Merriam, from the 1910 book The Dawn of the World.)

Lyrics and Movie Videos

Everyone has their favorite song that they listen to constantly. When you finally see the music video, does it match your expectation or even connects to the lyrics? I have watch many music videos where the for example the song maybe about clouds, but the video shows pink elephants. Song writers work hard to create lyrics in the vocal range of the singers. Even though the singer might make the song a hit, the music video is also a part of the popularity. So my question is why do directors create videos that don't reflect the images in the lyrics? To Answer this I will use James Blunt's video to the song "you're beautiful." For some reason there's an error so I can't get the full screen up here, but if you click the underlined sentence, you can see the video I got from youtube.




James Blunt - You're Beautiful traducido al español

Here are the lyrics:

My life is brilliant My love is pure I saw an angel Of that I'm sure, She smiled at me on the subway, She was with another man But I won't lose any sleep on that Cause I got a plan.You're beautiful You're beautifulYou're beautiful, it's true. I saw your face in a crowded placeAnd I don't know what to do Cause I'll never be with you.Yes she caught my eye, As I walked on by She could see from my face That I was fucking high And I don't think that I'll see her again But we shared a moment That will last til the end.You're beautifulYou're beautiful You're beautiful it's true I saw your face in a crowded placeAnd I don't know what to do Cause I'll never be with you.Lalalalalala Lalalalalala Lalalalala La You're beautiful You're beautiful You're beautiful it's true There must be an angel with a smile on her face When she thought up that I should be with you. But it's to time face the truth, Cause I'll never be with you.....

When I saw the first scene of the video, I was thinking why would guy take off his clothes in below zero degree weather in the middle of the artic? I was confused because the camera remained focused on him throughout the entire song, as he placed his jacket and other items on the snow in a straight line. I thought maybe it would connect to the lyrics if the video was Blunt could see his ex girlfriends face in a crowded room in at a bar or busy street. Then when I finally got to the last scene, James Blunt jumps into the icey ocean, obviously committing sucicde. Hence the line "But its time to face the truth, Cause I'll never be with you."

Now I know why the director chose the setting. He/she wanted the viewers to understand Blunt's agony and lonliness, by placing him in the middle of nowhere. Then there's that shocking last scene, where Blunt jumps into the ocean, it stirs up different reactions. Some people might think "What the Hell' others will think to themselves "Ok, I get it, he killed himself because he can never have her." The song is like a suicide note. Brillant.

This interpretation of Blunt's lyrics made me think about if my own stories and poems were made into a short music video. If the director rearranges my poem/stories, will my characters and images be left out to fit the time frame or media popularity? Would my message have the same impact or be lost completely. I think all song writers go though this problem, they might write the music, but the director has the power to make the decisions on the visual presentation of the song.

To look up different song lyrics try (http://www.metrolyrics.com/ and

www.elyrics.net)

Road Warriors

I decide to share a poem that I created by cutting words out of old magazines. Whenever I have writers block, and I'm about to scream, I challenge myself by trying to see how many poems I can write by using these cutout words. I hope you like this one:

"Road Warriors"

I was
and when I got something
fell
my whole world split
never to be glued back together
Everywhere things shattered all around me
I was born, just waiting to go somewhere
I have wings that don't weigh me down
Road Warriors scope out: streets
puzzles
riddles never solved
Following tracks left behind by from
who knows what will happen when myself leaves

And I arrive at the mystery of me.


The reason I wanted to share my poem is because one day I will hopefully have my own online magazine. Everyone will be able to have their work surrounded by images from artists who want to express their drawings to the public to get discovered. It seems like when you publish or post writing online the text cannot appear on by itself. Its seems like the page is missing something. Visuals are like a Chicago Style Hot dog, you might think that will the mustard, ketchup, grease, relish(metaphors,similes,vivid descriptions) are enough for toppings, but the cheese gives it an extra kick. In our fast pace world where no one has time to use their imagination to "see" and analyze the imagery in the writing piece. A vivid picture can emphasis the message in the work.

Even though I think its awesome to have writing and art side blend together. I still believe that people should be able to have the attention span to see the works standing on their own two feet.

(First Image "Crow Nest," from www.tnundup.com Torso Clothing, and

route 66 map www.bertaut.com.)

Disappearing Words

In today's world text messaging is taking the place of face to face conversation, and regular phone calls. But if you look closely at a text message, what is it really saying? No, I don't mean: omg, R U going to the mall? lol. This my friends is not true human speech, we homosapiens have worked hard at forming languages, words, and books. Don't let the digital world take it away from us. I was looking in a bookstore yesterday and I saw a whole section of books that were completely written in text message code. As a Fiction Writing Major, I wanted to scream; these books are taking the poetry of my words and all writers' way of diction.

As each century rolls by words have been disappearing from our tongues. For instance the word "Zealot" which means a person who is fanatical in support of a cause (Oxford Dictionary). Also the word "Yowl" a loud wailing cry (Webster Dictionary). I especially used the word yowl in a sentence from one of my stories as a kid and no one in my class not even the teacher knew this word.

Here bygynneth the Book of the tales of Caunterbury

Here begins the Book of the Tales of Canterbury

1: Whan that aprill with his shoures soote 2: The droghte of march hath perced to the roote, 3: And bathed every veyne in swich licour 4: Of which vertu engendred is the flour; 5: Whan zephirus eek with his sweete breeth 6: Inspired hath in every holt and heeth7: Tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne8: Hath in the ram his halve cours yronne,9: And smale foweles maken melodye, 10: That slepen al the nyght with open ye11: (so priketh hem nature in hir corages); 12: Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages,13: And palmeres for to seken straunge strondes, 14: To ferne halwes, kowthe in sondry londes;15: And specially from every shires ende16: Of engelond to caunterbury they wende,17: The hooly blisful martir for to seke, 18: That hem hath holpen whan that they were seeke.

When April with his showers sweet with fruit The drought of March has pierced unto the root And bathed each vein with liquor that has power To generate therein and sire the flower;When Zephyr also has, with his sweet breath,Quickened again, in every holt and heath,The tender shoots and buds, and the young sun. Into the Ram one half his course has run, And many little birds make melody That sleep through all the night with open eye (So Nature pricks them on to ramp and rage)-Then do folk long to go on pilgrimage, And palmers to go seeking out strange strands,To distant shrines well known in sundry lands. And specially from every shire's end Of England they to Canterbury wend,The holy blessed martyr there to seek.

This is the prologue of the famous Canterbury Tales written by poet/storyteller Geoffrey Chaucer in the late 1300's. It was written in Old English, then translated centuries later into modern day English. I was forced to memorize it in my high school British Literature Class. I didn't understand why my teacher made us recite it, until now. This was the foundation that created the way we use words, phrases, sentences in all forms of media today: Radio, Internet, Magazines, Television. Old English was chipped and remolded to make the English language easier to understand.

As we rely more on the web, people want to be able to communicate with others from different states and countries. My concern is that instead of deep messages and comments; everyone will be abbreviating words and condensing the size of information presented. We won't be able to fully grasp or be drawn into a story or piece of news, if it's formed into one small paragraph, to quickly get to the point the writer is trying to display.

I know that things have to change, the world evolves. Yet, as a writer I now have to choose my word's carefully, because my readers might not know what certain words mean.


*Tips: There is a website that I found very interesting http://www.lingo2word.com/ which translates text messages into regular English, for people who truly don't understand the text message code.

(Image at top found at www.chipchick.com/ Artist: Chris Madden and

Image of Lauren Myracle's book ttfn).